Kanina sa jeep, may nakasabay akong mga estudyante. Probably nasa highschool sila.
Estudyante 1: Brad pasok tayo bukas ha?
Estudyante 2: Anung ipapaalam ko brad?
Estudyante 1: Ako kasi sasabihin ko kukunin ko yung kurtina. Iniwan ko talaga yun e.
Estudyante 2: Ahh... Mamaya brad may papatago ako sa’yo ha? Pants yun. Sasabihin ko kay mama kukunin ko sa’yo bukas.
…little lies today. Can you imagine tomorrow?
Pero ‘di naman talaga tungkol dun ‘tong entry ko.
Kanina, magkatext kami ni bez. Out of nowhere tinanong nya, “Bez, inip ka na ba dahil la man lang special someone?”
Honestly, ‘di ko alam ang sagot.
I’d be lying if I’ll say no. It’s been two long years. PERO…
Ewan ko ba… Masyado nang maraming nangyari sa buhay ko. Only few people know… Masyado nang wounded ang heart ko. (hehe… bakit ba ang EMO ko? Toinks.) At the end of the day, it all boils down to this, “I am scared.”
I’m scared of trying again.
I’m scared of letting somebody ‘IN’ in my life.
I’m scared of opening my heart to somebody who could possibly hurt me.
Sometimes I even feel scared of being happy… Because I’m afraid that if I let myself be happy for a minute, the whole world would come crashing down next. ( Parang yung kasabihan nila, “wag ka daw masyadong magsaya, dahil pag-uwi mo ng bahay, either may problema or mapapagalitan ka.")
Follow up question ni bez, “Bez, nalulungkot ka ba?”
I said YES. Who wouldn’t be? Nakakamiss din yung may taong nag-aalala sa’yo. Pero, who am I to complain? Hehe. That was my choice e. I push people away, sometimes… Maybe until the pain’s gone. Ayoko maging unfair. I wouldn’t commit into a relationship just because I am sad. Or bored.
“Bakit kasi ‘di ka magpaligaw?”
Dadating din yun… hehe… When I am no longer scared… Or maybe when my heart’s ready
(na mabasag muli) KIDDING. Hehe. I guess what’s written above explains it all.
|Image from google|
“I knew somebody who isn’t the type that just crosses the bridge. He is somebody who would climb off its walls and is always ready to jump. I wanted to be there to catch him when that happens, BUT… he pushed me away…”
*end of story*