on Death and Dying...

The human life is made up of choices. Yes or No? In or Out? Up or Down? And then there are the choices that matter. Love or Hate? To be a hero or To be a coward? Fight or Give in? Live or Die? That is the important choice.

But it's not always in your hands...
-grey's anatomy, season 6 episode 24

When I was still a student, we were taught how to deal with dying people. How we could provide emotional support to the patient and to his family. How we can ease their sadness and help them cope with the pain they're going through. We were taught a lot of things to guide them through the stages of death and dying...

5 stages of death and dying
  1. Denial—"I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me."
    Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of positions and individuals that will be left behind after death.
  2. Anger—"Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; "Who is to blame?"
    Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy. Any individual that symbolizes life or energy is subject to projected resentment and jealousy.
  3. Bargaining—"Just let me live to see my children graduate."; "I'll do anything for a few more years."; "I will give my life savings if..."
    The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the individual is saying, "I understand I will die, but if I could just have more time..."
  4. Depression—"I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die... What's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
    During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to understand the certainty of death. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect oneself from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed.
  5. Acceptance—"It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."
    In this last stage, the individual begins to come to terms with his mortality or that of his loved one.

However, no matter how knowledgeable you are about those things, it's not so easy to apply them in real life.



There is this man who was diagnosed to have liver cancer, stage IV, with metastases on lungs and brain. The family knows he won't live long, but refuse to tell the patient the truth about his condition. They say it was his request... The doctor allowed the family to bring him home so he can be with them for the remaining days of his life. The problem is, the patient doesn't want to go home because he says, "di pa ko nakakakain e, dito muna ko sa ospital..."

He was full of hopes that one day, he'll get better and will be able to regain his life. He complies to all our instructions and takes his medications on time. It makes me teary-eyed whenever I see him in pain. He is fighting his disease. And we don't have any rights to tell him that, "sir it's okei...you may rest now..." We can't take away that little hope he has. That's the only thing he's got...

He deteriorates as days pass by. We can no longer ease the pain he feels. Medications seem to have no effect at all. Still, he hopes... and he keeps on holding on... :c


Until one day, I noticed that the room he occupies is empty. I thought he was brought home by his relatives. I was wrong... The nurses assigned to take care of him said he died already... 

As I type these words, I'm trying to hold my tears. This is what I hate most about being a nurse; I always see how people struggle for their life, and then fail.

Rest in peace, Mr...

With God I know you are safe...

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21 lovely comments Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ:

  1. we have a noble life as medical professionals

  2. onga kuya uno...it's just hard whenever we see dying people. anyway, part talaga yun ng work e...

  3. 'love ur 5 stages of dying.. pwede din i-apply sa relationship ng tao..

  4. kay Elisabeth Kübler-Ross po yung 5 stages of death and dying :)


    pwede din iapply to any form of catastrophic personal loss... :)

  5. It's better not to see dying people. Feeling ko ako ang mamamatay.

  6. you're right gingerSnap.

    pag nakikita ko yung relatives na nagiiyakan, naiiyak din ako... omigosh! hehe XD

    thanks for dropping by :)

  7. When I was little, I dreamt of becoming a doctor (like most kids say). But when I started to cringe at the thought of blood and guts, I declined that very thought eventually. But when my dad experienced a brain aneurysm, which he never recovered from, I suddenly wished I was a doctor. You know, I wasn't the 'dying one' but when my dad died, I blamed his every doctor. Sadly, I couldn't ask for a 2nd chance at life for him. because another vein popped and it was the end. For me, the amount of console from nurses, doctors, family or friends could never take the pain from anyone grieving..

  8. Death is not always something we can control and once it hits, no matter how we prepare for it. It always leaves a sting. In your field, you see it from a medical practitioners point of view and it must be difficult to be the bearers of bad news and the first pillar of support that they have to lean on.

  9. I'm a very emotional person, I don't think I can handle the kind of job you have. God bless Lily!

  10. I have dealt with this several times, death of my uncles who suffered from cancer and my dad who had heart attack and suffered stroke for a few months. Seeing them slowly dying was a sad and depressing sight but I have to remain and look strong to give them a little strength to fight back and want to live ... until ... until I have to convince myself that it's time to let go ... telling them to go and tell them we will be ok is harder and when they are finally gone . . . . I breakdown. Those mentioned stages were not only for the dying, It's also for us seeing and watching the dying.

  11. Being a nurse is a hard career/job/calling. It's heartbreaking as well when the patient you are taking care of will die and there is nothing you can do to help him/her out. Sad but true.

  12. As a nurse, I know where your coming from. There's is an oath you must honor. Masakit nga na makita mo ang isang taong mamamatay( which alam mo na mangyayari) just like the one sa story mo, I can relate to this. may uncle ako na terminal na ang sakit pero ayaw ng asawa nya na ipaalam sa kanya. Sabi nya she believes in miracle and you know what, nabuhay ang tito ko up to this date.

  13. That 5 stages of death is really interesting. But death is something that we cannot avoid but eventually, we will all go tho that point.

  14. There are things better to let go but Death is something really hard to comprehend. We just learn and accept the reality cause no matter how we struggle we will end up in the last phase of our life. In due time...:)

  15. Death is inevitable. Honestly, I am afraid of death, but as I understand LIFE and DEATH, nobody lives forever. You must pleasure LIFE God given gift to us temporarily.

  16. this feels like something out of an episode of house md. live to the fullest.

  17. Bipolar ako when it comes to death. Bipolar in a way na alam ko na death will eventually come pero natatakot naman ako. Ayoko din sa lahat yung nakakakita ng taong namamatay super emotional ako sa ganyan.

  18. i had been through those stages when my sister died. and it was very painful and how i wished I could have been there at times when she had suffered .. but life is just unfair and we have to accept it ...

  19. Death may come to every person so while we still exist on Earth let us live life fully and meaningfully.

  20. I can't imagine myself going through these stages because I am SCARED and TERRIFIED just talking about death. This statement in your post is so true and I quote:

    "However, no matter how knowledgeable you are about those things, it's not so easy to apply them in real life."

    This is something we'll all experience. Nobody is exempted because every beginning has an end... We just have to wait for our turn to go towards the light.

  21. they say that these 5 stages are normal reactions that each dying person has to overcome to be able face the unknown. Sad though but things like these happen..Yahweh bless