I was writing the other night about things that...well, just things. I don't know how many of my posts were about you, how many times I've said goodbye, how many times I felt so stupid for still thinking about you, about US. I got a notebook where I wrote all my blahs since the day you left. [Technically, you didn't leave...because you weren't with me, and there was no US in the first place.] So as I was saying, I was writing the other night and couldn't think of anything else to write about. I tried distracting myself by thinking about current events, my new friend, my puppy, etc. But everything just boils down to this; YOU are the only subject I know...
What did I write?
Two Years Back
This is [not] one of those
Rubbish sentiments I've made
When my life was a mess
And grief was all I have
I am no good writer
Can't even find the right words to say
I just need to pour out
What this lonely heart has to say
Two years back, we were so inlove [or was it only me?]
You lit the darkness in my heart
I was your life, and you were mine
Until moments passed, then you're gone.
I stopped writing there. I shouldn't be thinking about you anymore. I have to change my subject. It has to be anything but you. I don't know why I do this to myself. I'm so pathetic. I made myself believe that I'm over you. I'M OVER YOU. But it still hurts.
As they say, "You become what you think of most of the time."
So, for the nth time, I'm saying goodbye. For the nth time, I'm saying I wouldn't write about you anymore. And for the nth time, I'm moving on...
~this is NOT so me.