Note: It's not about me... This is written for my person. Related post: Open Letter.
I'm not really fond of telling my love story but the pain I'm feeling right now overpowers my desire to just keep it to myself. I kept myself busy to distract my brain from thinking about what happened but it keeps on telling me this, "No! He's my favorite subject for the moment!" Argh. Who am I to stop this powerful part of the human body?!
I met him when I was in freshman. At first all I wanted was to have fun and enjoy the *kilig moments* while they last. I never planned of falling too hard and creating a world where it's just the two of us. Sure I did have a set of friends but most of my time was spent with him. I finished college creating memories I can never throw away---not even now that I'm so angry. I loved him more than any girl could do (or so I think.)
After college, I started working and so did he. We went on separate ways but our love for each other remained intact. I gave him my 100% trust. We see each other at least once a month. We created happier memories. We call and text each other to make sure everything's fine and to prevent ourselves from falling out of love.
Communication is one of the most important ingredient in any relationship. It keeps the fire burning and fuels every beat of the heart.
Days, months, a year passed. We started to have fights over the littlest things on earth. He grew cold and I started to doubt his love for me. I just told myself that maybe, just maybe, he's feeling tired. It took every ounce of understanding I have in me to erase the horrible thoughts that enter my mind. He loves me and I stick with that.
We managed to work it out and stayed together. I sacrificed everything I have to prove how much I love him. I gave up my job, had a huge fight with my sister and forgot about myself just to make him happy. Then, the best thing came; he proposed to me and I said yes! I was the happiest girl on earth that day!
His parents talked to my family so we could get an approval of me living with them in their home. I did everything I could to be the best wife-to-be even though he's working from a far-far-away-land. I was sad during the times he wasn't home. There were days when he wouldn't even ask how I was doing. Again, I doubted his love for me. I sensed that he's unsure of marrying me so I decided to talk to him seriously.
I wished I was just having a nightmare when he told me the most painful words I've ever heard my entire life. He's inlove with somebody else! My world suddenly stopped and all our plans melted away. Turns out, I was the only one planning for our future!
I didn't know what to do. I burst into tears. He made me feel like the most pathetic creature on earth. One moment we were getting married. The next thing I know he's dumping me. I wanted to just die that very moment! Shame.
I grabbed hold of a blade I saw from afar. I placed it on my wrist and closed my eyes. I moved it slowly as if tracing the delicate skin that covers my artery. I felt the sharp pain then blood started oozing out of my capillaries. Then, his father saw what I was doing.
I was saved.
I was saved.