Have you ever been to a situation where you lost the motivation to ever go back to your work? You thought that there are better things to do than bore yourself to death in doing things repetitively every waking day? Have you ever felt worthless and unproductive because your workplace is not actually a place where there is work to be done?
For the past three months, I’ve been working as Philhealth CARES nurse. The job is quite easy especially when my hospital assignment has patients I can count on my fingers. I wake up early in the morning, travel for an hour or less, report to my superiors then go straight to my “improvised office.” At first, I just wait for clients to come to me but as time passed by, I realized I could really not be of much help if I continue doing that. So, I started making “rounds” wherein I visit the clients in their rooms and disseminate information. I usually finish doing this in the morning for it only takes an hour or two to visit all admissions. Then in the afternoon, if no one gets admitted and nobody comes to the ER/OPD for check up, I just sit in my office, stare at the clock and patiently wait until its little hand points to 5 and the big one to 12. 5:00pm=time to go home. Sometimes I think, is this really what I want to do?
In the first hospital where I was deployed, I was able to help a lot of clients. That, I can say, was a REAL accomplishment. Last month, I have talked to a handful of clients and I guess, that was really all I could do because they were the only people in that hospital. I cannot shout outside the hospital to get by-passers’ ears to listen to me, can I? I cannot pray for more clients either because it was like praying for more people to get sick and be admitted in the hospital. Baby that’s bad. Argh.
Whenever I was in my office, breathing in and out, staring at the clock that seemed to be in slow motion everytime, reading a book or whatever I could do to ease boredom, I also think if I could still do the same things over and over again for the days to come. It’s boring. Really. And boredom sucks whatever little energy I have to stretch my arms in the morning, fight the urge to go back to sleep and prepare for work.
So, why am I writing all of these? It’s been a week since I was deployed in my third hospital assignment and God it’s even more benign here than the last one! On my first day, I didn’t know where I would literally place myself because 1.) the ER is small and there’s no place for me to stay, 2.) the lobby is used as a clinic and 3.) I am not allowed to be inside the admin office. It’s good that the people here are nice enough to provide me a custom-made table that would fit in one corner of their ER.
The first two days were boring
(forgive me for repeating this over and over again) and it became even harder for me to get up in the morning. However, during one of my rounds, there was this client whose case was complicated and they badly need help in understanding how they could use their Philhealth benefits. I really took the time and effort to explain everything they need to know to maximize their benefits. After he affirmed that he already understood it, he thanked me. He said I was really of great help to them. He stood up and gave me two special mamons as a sign of thank you. I was hesitant to accept the ‘gift’ but he insisted and it would be rude of me if I still refuse. Right? :p I was deeply touched.
As I went downstairs back to my lone office, I thought, maybe, it’s these little things that would keep me going. These few people that I could be of help are enough to keep me motivated. Informing ‘some’ is way better than informing ‘none.’
Looking forward to happier working days. Aja!
Looking forward to happier working days. Aja!
And you're feeling the same way, eh? Don't worry, you are not alone. I don't know. Though it is easy, I get tired of doing the same thing repetitively. It's not that I loathe the job, (am really thankful for it) but once we're deployed, we get stagnant, as nurses, maybe?ReplyDelete
There was even a time where I'm just at the bed, staring at the ceiling, and thinking if I'm going to go to work. Haha.. There was also a time when I just wanted to give up and go back to becoming a nurse.
I hope we will find ways (in the future) that will make us love our job more. Job satisfaction, ika nga nila. And I'm not losing hope, we will find one.
Akin na lang yung isang mamon. :)
Yeah, we will find ways. (BDO group?!) haha...Delete
Dapat kasi di na nilalagyan ng CARES ang hospitals na onti lang patients. We thought of suggesting that during our last forum, pero malabo naman kasi mangyari. haha...
Ubos na ang mamon. :p
thanks po kuya arvin! :))Delete
Time moves opposite the way we want them to. Too slow when things are boring and too fast when you're catching a deadline. It's good you were able to use your boring time to be of help to a patient.ReplyDelete
Ahaha. Fellow nurse. That's fine. Work is sporadic. Sometimes we become toxic, sometimes we are so relaxed and the work of a nurse is unpredictable because we don't know when patients will come to seek our service :)ReplyDelete
we all can help others in our own little way. No matter how big or small we did at the end of the day , we accomplished something.ReplyDelete
Boredom really kills, but before it kills you, kill it first. You were already doing fine doing rounds from your previous hospital, why not do it again with this next hospital, as you've said, "some" is better than "none".ReplyDelete
Kudos to you for explaining and helping those kind of things to those in need of it. I wish more people like you will emerge.ReplyDelete
Repetition indeed becomes boring. However, if there is passion and deeper sense of what you are doing you can minimize this boredom. But from time to time allow this feeling to engulf you at least in that moments you may find some great ways to solve this.ReplyDelete
I feel you. I try my best to get myself back on track!ReplyDelete
Advice. If you think hindi ka na nag-grow and natututo then I think you need to go ask yourself if you still want to stay.ReplyDelete
Good luck and think as many times as you can before making such decisions.
hmmm, sometimes, work is really boring, you just need to relax when boredom presents itself. it's good that you're starting slow. you might get assigned to a bigger hospital in the future, i'm sure you won't get bored there. your job, by the way, is really very helpful. just keep on doing what you're doing. =)ReplyDelete
I feel ya. So many people, even ones the make the big bucks, have resigned and reapplied 100x in their minds.ReplyDelete
you have a wonderful gift and job, you probably just need some retreat where you can recollect yourself to God. Don't lose hope, have faith.ReplyDelete
Been there, done that. Just follow your heart dear :) Shift to a career that you truly desire. You still have plenty of time to think about it. Remember, you are the designer of your own destiny.ReplyDelete
Just relax. Take some R&R and probably, blog at work while you're not that busy. :DReplyDelete